at first, i disregarded the noise because i thought it was one of the little kids next door.
they love to play, throw balls, and run ramped through my yard as well as through the street.
so, i figured--let them play. they're young, right? it won't be long until they're going to college, controlling their vices, and figuring out what it is they want to do with their life.
plus, 2012 is looming--hello, karma.
i lifted myself off of the couch, because apparently, that is my new bed.
i have totally disregarded my bedroom for the last month or so. i don't know why, but i just can't sleep in my room. the last time i was having these problems it took me forever to get back into the groove of things.
i dream in cotton t-shirt sheets and comfort under my lower back.
that's my ghetto bed. don't judge. i don't like bed frames.
i'm minimal.
so, i walked to the front door because that's where i was hearing all the racket.
what do i see?
not a small child running through the yard and playing racquetball off the side of my house, but instead, i see a black crow trying to get into the house
through the window on your right.
it just kept flying into it...over...and over.
my initial thought was:
this.
but then i started getting creeped out. i'm not a fan of birds to begin with. they are shifty little creatures and my second thought was:
this.
then, i wanted everything to simmer down just a little...so i redirected my attention to something with a lighter mood. everyone loves the beatles, right?
i sat there and watched this crow fly into the window for about a minute and a half. it was trying to get completely over the house...i think.
but, kept getting side tracked and detouring into the glass.
there has always been something creepy about birds flying into windows. i even wrote about it last year in the novel treatment i'm conjuring up. it's a really uncomfortable scene. it makes it even more uncomfortable when it's a crow.
when i was talking to my mother later that afternoon, i mentioned the creepy crow.
that's my mom.
she says, "happy new year."
my mom is extremely superstitious. i try not to be. when i was growing up though, that was a different story. this lady embedded scenarios into my head that i'll never get away from. they were all greek superstitions at that--which--any greek will tell you--always seem to be the worst kinds of superstitions.
the superstitions in greece are alive for the sole purpose of making you feel threatened by something as minimal as the glare that someone gives you...or even a damn compliment from someone.
my mother gasped at the crow story. she made that "tisk" sound that someone makes when they are way into their head, digging around through all the horrible shit that could go wrong.
she kept going on and on in greek about how that isn't good.
ultimately, in translation to her greek, it meant that it was a bad omen.
not that omen...this one.
today--it happened again.
i was awakened by the same bird.
i'm not a superstitious person. i mean, to some degree, i guess i am.
but i did some research above what my mom was telling me. because moms never tell the whole story. after reading through discussion boards and spiritual websites...this is what was constantly repeated, in some form or fashion:
"Many people believe that a bird tapping at the window is also an omen of impending death to one of the house's occupants. This belief, associating the entry or interest of a bird in the home or its occupants, stems from the ancient belief that birds are actually the messengers of departed souls, or the souls themselves, come back to guide those soon to die."
i'm the only occupant of this house.
and i've always told people that i have that feeling that i won't live long, hence the reason i live so much every day.
that bird is going to take me out, i'm sure of it. maybe i'll feel more threatened when he leaves a scroll tied with a red ribbon at the foot of my door. he always comes knocking around the same time of the day--maybe i'll skip my first class to see if swings by again.
after all, it would be rude to leave when you think you're expecting a visitor, right?
if i do skip class, i'll record it...it could be a fun experiment.
until next time
-nick
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