hostility meets tranquility

i'm in class with many pretentious people this semester.
mainly one class.

one class harbors a bunch of lilly-lickers.



that's the face a lilly-licker makes.
ask me on a good day, i'll give you a demonstration.

i'm starting to realize that i'm becoming a cynical asshole.
i don't mean to be. i really try not to be.

but when i pay tuition for a class that is an utter waste of my time, it kind of puts a damper on my day. usually on tuesdays and thursdays, when i decide to come home and get some work done after a long fucking day at school...

i have to hide all the wine and make my car detour the PUBLIX so i don't drop in for a bottle of red. because i've never had that "i really need to drink" feeling until the first tuesday of this semester. it's a genuine attempt to not get drunk alone.



i think i'm in class with him.

this isn't meant to be a rant or a complete disregard for humanity.
i'm not going to say i'm the most mature individual out there. i'm not even going to pretend that i don't have the peter pan complex. but, i at least fucking know how to be somewhat of a god damned adult when i need to be.

at what point do you stick your nose up a teacher's ass so far that you've lost all sense of direction.

teacher who wastes my tuesdays and thursdays from 5-6: which end of the class should i start on today?

kid who makes my blood boil to levels that shouldn't be medically possible every tuesday and thursday from 5-6: i think you should start here. because you started on that end of the room last time and i hate to read last.

it's not necessarily the dialogue that irks me as much as it is the sound of both their voices combined.



i'm anxiously waiting for this day.

my head has hit the desk on numerous occasions just to keep my mouth shut.
i've accidentally said things such as: this class fucking hurts

out loud in class.

it's a matter of time until mr. kennesaw asks me to never come back.



on a brighter note: i'm published (again?).

it's nothing big. it was published in my school's literary magazine.
it's a far leap from people banging on my door and bombarding my e-mail with things other than get rich quick scams, porn, and weight-loss miracles...or is it?

so, yeah. my sister flies in tonight. the red-team is on her way. tonight will be a win.

take care, america.

until next time
-nick

can i have your attention, please?

i know it's been a minute.

actually, it's been more than a minute but i've been busy.
the word "busy" equates to 6 classes, the website (which i'm more or less slacking on), life, unstable situations, and a few days of work every week.

i guess it's a miracle i'm alive.
or not. i guess i'm fucking human and i'm young and i'll have to deal with it.

so...i deal.

there really isn't much on the topic of conversation other than the fact i'm in the library.
you're supposed to be quiet in the library.

and in church.



but not in confessional.
belt your woes, but in a respectable manner, please.

i'm learning the ways of being speaking up lately.
not just because i'm trying to revolt. but because at times, it's best to speak up.

this:



is the way people keep looking at me.
apparently, you're not supposed to have a sense of humor in the library.

summer heights high
is what is making me laugh right now.

blame this bitch.

she's the party responsible.

watch at your leisure.
it will be a good decision.

in the last month or two, i've become that person that broke out of his shell (in some ways or less). this isn't a tale about figuring out who i am or being comfortable in my own skin.

i've owned that shit for far too long.
what i'm getting at is that i've been the person who would just accept things, at times, for what they were. especially personal situation.

whether they be relationships, friendships, common situations in every day banter...etc.

skip to the two minute mark, anything before that is not all that relevant.



"there's a cello in your house now."

that's how i feel about some situations. i feel like making my mark.
or at least letting someone know that i was there.

don't get me wrong. i'm not going to vandalize the home to any person that pisses me off.
i'm just more vocal about things now.

not really sure what has brought it about, but what i've realized is that sitting around and just letting things happen, at times, isn't the best situation to be in.

i'm not saying that you should turn into that guy who tries to control everything.
i mean, you can't take the job of creator.

someone already died for that job position.



that wasn't meant to be blasphemous, unless you wanted it to be.

i'm not suggesting that you try and control every fucking situation.
because that will only make you lose your marbles.

i guess that i'm just saying that speaking up every now and then isn't really that bad.
you'll help people, hurt people, inform people...etc.

just be sure to speak up every now and then.
because you'd be surprised in how much it helps.

true that.
i know this was vague.
but, i have to pee something horrible and my class starts in 15.

until next time
-nick